10/52 Sing In A Choir

I made my way to a community choir my friend runs. It was great. We sang some tunes, it was sunny. My friend made me a delicious omelette after class. I mean what more does one need on a Sunday?

This week I’ve been thinking a lot about one year ago.

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One year ago I Ieft for South East Asia. On my own. With nothing but a backpack on my back and flip flops on my feet. To be honest, I had some doubts before leaving. Knowing that I’d have to leave my shoes behind was not an idea that excited me. 

I left thinking “Great, I’ll go away. Have some time to think and come back after 3 months with all the answers.”

It turns out, that’s not how it works and that I’m still very much on that journey I embarked on a year ago. 

And honestly, this past year has been a really uncomfortable one. I took everything I thought I knew about myself and the direction in which I was headed and questioned it. I sat in a job interview for a role I would have killed for a year before and realised actually it wasn’t what really excited me. It would have been a job to satisfy my ego rather than my soul if ya get what I’m saying.

So I’m trying to live according to what brings me genuine joy. I need to be engaging with people and creating things whether that be video, audio or written content. Producing live experiences too is something I’m great at - whether that be in music or as it turns out, theatre. More details on this next week. Say wuuuuut!?

I feel less bothered about other people’s opinion of me. Or perception. I’m working really hard on shedding my need to prove things to others and to myself. Trying to break free from this mould and let my true colours shine through in all their human error and messiness. 

It’s been an insane few months and I’ve always had a problem with taking on too much and juggling multiple things at once including a bicycle and chainsaw or two. I’m good at it though and thrive in that environment. I'm also determined on sculpting my time on this earth as I choose to. Who do I want to spend time with? What do I want to fill my days with? What are the wildest desires I hope to bring to life? 

That’s all for now. This is a short one I know and perhaps not as theatrical as the other entries up until this point. Just me. Sharing some thoughts. 


Nina RubesaComment